Okay, so here’s the thing. I’m not sure it’s what my family and friends want to hear but I intend to live to 100 years old! I envision an outrageous 100th birthday party where I misbehave and embarrass the children. I want a ‘death by chocolate’ cake, with 100 gold candles on it. And yes, I do want presents and I expect my guests to sing to me.
I know what you’re thinking. Chemo brain and all that goes with it. But see it this way. I am choosing to focus on my future. When the going gets a bit rough, I visualize my birthday cake and the candles burning brightly. I see the guests (and yes you’re there.) I imagine the first piece of cake melting on my tongue and the glass of bubbly sparkling at my side. It’s an easy choice. No resistance involved.
Now I don’t know about you, but I was brought up to believe that taking the path of least resistance was the lazy choice. If I wanted something badly enough, I needed to work hard to get it. And sometimes this was true. But at other times it simply didn’t work like that. Choosing the least resistant path, often allows the things you want to flow to you. When we push against things we don’t want, they persist!
Yes, I still believe in focusing on what I wish to achieve. But these days I’ve added another dimension. It’s strange, but once you experience not seeing clearly, it’s easier to do the opposite. If something is meant for me, it’s going to show up. Like Archie. He’s back on my bed. I can’t tell you exactly when he returned, but I feel his warm body cuddled into mine and his loud purring vibrates my heart. He no longer stays until the morning, but its more than enough.
As most of us do, I often bury feelings under ‘busy-ness.’ But my emotions are my radar. I know when I trust someone. I treasure the friends who recognize the real me. Spending time with them is a bit like tuning into the right radio station. It’s relishing the NOW. I focus on the love that surrounds me and (mostly) ignore the fear. I select the thoughts that stay with me. I imagine having a pile of old cds in my car. As I start my engine, I sift through them. The labels include, Revenge, Anger, Bitterness, Hate, Forgiveness, Miracles, Friendship, Romance, Cat therapy ala Archie, Dolphin sounds, Light and Love. Which one should I slip into the player? Remember that it’s a 30 minute drive to town!
(Thank you Wayne Dyer and Esther Hicks. Your work inspires me.)
